A mile in our shoes: One step at a time

Love

2012-02-14T14:13:00.000-08:00

I always new I loved my family growing up, but when I hit college and started dating, love became an interesting emotion. There were a couple of times I really "liked" someone, but love.....yeah no. So when Grant first told me he loved me (actually he said something to the effect of, "I think I am falling in love with you," I FREAKED! I sat silent, how was I to respond to that???? He did not take offense (at least I do not think) and asked me if that scared me a little. When I responded yes, he said he would try not to bring it up again. He must of not tried very hard because I think the next time we talked on the phone he told me he loved me. To which I simply said, "Thank You." Oh poor guy, I am totally laughing out loud as I type this. This went on for at least a month, him professing love and my offering gratitude. I remember the night I decided I might be in love too, and blurted it out. Holy cow, I could not believe I said it and spent the next week trying to avoid having to say it again. I do not take that word lightly and had never said it to a boy outside of the family. As I exercised the use of the word it became more comfortable and I fell helplessly in love with the most amazing man I have ever known. I know he is not perfect, neither am I...but we always say we are perfect for each other!!! No matter how long we have been married, his hugs make me feel safe, happy, loved and at home. He makes me laugh (and much to his dismay my hardest laughs are at his expense-but he puts up with it.) He welcomes me into his interests and is willing to try mine. He allows me to be my own person, and makes me better in the process. He is my love and my life and I will love him forever, and ever....and ever!
Besides he makes really cute kiddos!

Bless Mom

2012-01-19T15:54:00.000-08:00

The kids prayers are great. Sometimes they last a bit long, but they really are sincere. They often pray for the same things, but so do I because they are the things I truly want to say and need. They pray for Jamison and Caleb to have fun at school and to learn, they pray for Asher and Miquelyn to be good helpers at home. They pray for Isaac to not be crabby and Dad to sell lots of cars. Then they end it with bless Mom to do the things that she needs to do. So....the other day I asked them if they knew what it was that mom did. They thought for a second, and then responded, "Nope, I have no idea what you do." I had to laugh. Realistically they will have no idea all that I do until either they are doing it themselves or they watch their wife do it. At least they are blessing me with help, cause heaven knows I need it!

Hippity Flop

2012-01-07T20:47:00.000-08:00

So, For Christmas Santa brought the family two new pets. Aquatic African Dwarf frogs. We have loved them. They are funny little creatures. The kids named them Hippity and Hop. We got a bigger tank and put them together with the fish. It has provided great entertainment. Even Isaac loves to watch the frogs and giggles. Well...yesterday I noticed a white growth on the back of Hippity. I took a picture and sent a message to Grant asking if he knew what it might be. He had no clue. Later that night we started looking it up and discovered it was a fungal infection. We immediately went to work. We Quarantined the frog and mixed together a salt water solution that was said to kill the fungus. I was worried about the frog and so were the kids.

I kept checking on the frog and he seemed to be doing ok. I went to watch a show and checked on him a bit later. He was floating upside down in his tank. I freaked, holy cow I killed our frog. I went to pick him up and he started moving. We immediately put him in fresh water and I tried everything to help him and nurse him back (which is really nothing.) It did not take long for him to die. I felt terrible. We were following advice and tried to get rid of the fungus before the fungus killed him, and in the process killed him first. I seriously was on the verge of tears last night. I really liked this frog!
I was telling a friend about it today and she said, well hippity flopped. How can you not laugh at that! Needless to say new frogs are on the way, we now have a disinfectant solution in the tank water, and I am rethinking whether or not I really should have the charge of pets.

Christmas Cheer

2011-12-24T21:59:00.000-08:00

This has been a unique Christmas Season. I am lucky to have all my siblings and their kids here in town...all in Farmington. It is mass chaos when all 35 of us are together in one home, but it would not be right any other way. The unique part of it though has not been my favorite. Starting Tuesday the stomach flu hit our home and as of tonight (Saturday) the last person of all seven of us threw up. Poor Isaac did not understand what was happening to him. We all have had it is varying degrees, but this is a nasty one. I am feeling very lucky that we are on the tail end of it though. By tomorrow...by Christmas day we should all have passed through the gammet of sickness and be able to enjoy the day and each other. This has been a memorable Christmas! It has had a unique spirit about it for me as I have thought about particularly Mary and her role in bringing the Savior to the world. My feelings for her are on a completely different level and I hope to take the time to explore them more. It has provided me with a very personal spiritual awakening...one that I need. It will be a very Merry Christmas.

A peculiar people

2011-12-16T12:59:00.000-08:00

The people of our church are at times called a peculiar people. Our kids are peculiar, not just because of their religious beliefs...but because they are simply not normal. Three things come to mind. 1. They love to watch Michael Buble concerts. I know that does not sound that weird, who doesn't like to watch him. But, they are 8,6,5,3, and 1 1/2, and they like it just as much as any cartoon. They have been watching his concerts for about 4 years. They would pick that over movies sometimes. Not typical. 2. Asher had a school party this week. There was a table full of goodies. There were donuts, big cupcakes, little cupcakes, chocolate cookies, white chocolate popcorn, etc. I asked Mique what she wanted and with all of the sugar laid out before her she picked pretzels and olives. What kid prefers that? 3. The other day I was at hobby lobby and the lady helping me asked Asher what he wanted Santa to bring him. He did not hesitate before saying hand sanitizer. She looked at me and half whispered, "Did he say sanitizer?" I kinda chuckled as I told her, "Yep, he sure did." All I want for Christmas are clean hands!!! We breed them a bit peculiar!

We did it again!

2011-12-02T16:20:00.000-08:00

We did it again. We read the book of Mormon as a family again. This time the kids were super excited! They have come to love to read it. We have used our Family Book of Mormon so much it fell apart....literally. It was in about 3 pieces. I took it to a printing place and had them cut the old binding and put a new binding on it. They were nice enough to copy the cover and put it on nice cardstock for me. It is not as pretty as the original, but every time I pick it up I love it even more. This worn and patched together Book of Mormon has been read, used, loved and is now treasured. It is a symbol of family time together and accomplishment. It is a huge accomplishment for the kids, I am so proud of them!

(As a side not...When I walked into the printing place I saw a guy that used to be in our old ward. He owns the printing shop, which I did not know previous to walking in the store. He is no longer active, but remembered me and was very helpful. When I went to pick it up and pay he would not let me. He told me he was donating the work and had done it himself. I am sure it was really easy for him to do and not terribly time consuming, but it meant a lot to me. It felt like a simple little blessing for our efforts as a family.)

Down Under

2011-11-16T14:51:00.000-08:00

A week ago today Grant and I got back from a WONDERFUL trip to Sydney, Australia. It was amazing. Anyone that knows me knows I love to travel, and love it I did! After a 3 hour drive to ABQ, a 2 hour wait at the airport, 2 hour flight to L.A,. a four hour layover and then 15 and a half hour flight to Sydney we were half way across the world. Grant and I could not get enough of this view. It was unreal that we were seeing it in person.This Opera house is unreal. It was so fun to go inside and look at it up close and personal.
We honestly did not take that many pictures, and this might very well be the only one with both of us in it. I think we were enjoying too much and did not even really think about pulling the camera out.
This Cathedral was across from our hotel. Grant had never been in a big cathedral like this before and was in awe at the size and the beauty. It never escapes me when I go into these amazing works of art how different it feels than our small simple chapels and relatively simple temples. The spirit is discernibly different.
We walked A LOT. Really we walked anywhere we could. One day we were able to account for at least 6 miles of walking. One day we found this fun fountain in the middle of the wharf, stopped, took off our shoes, and just enjoyed!
One of the things that surprised me about Sydney in particular was the mix of historical and modern. This picture shows that blend right in the middle of downtown. It was that way every where.
This was our view from our hotel room. We seriously always get the last room in a very long hall no matter where we stay. We were laughing about it as we were walking to our room. But then we opened the curtains, and not complaint was ever again uttered!
Things we did:

Did a city tour by bus
Hung out at the Rocks Market (a fun local Market on the weekends)
Explored downtown
Watched our first Opera in the amazing Opera House
Took a ferry to Manly beach to scuba dive for the day
Went to the Famous Bondi Beach and body boarded for half a day
Went to Local art Museums and Churches
Walked in several of their parks (beautiful, huge, and full of very active adults working out not matter what day or time of the day...seriously does no one work?)
Explored two different harbors
Ate amazing food (very fresh sea food)
Gained some weight
Took a few naps
Read a couple of books

I do have to say that the best thing about the trip was being with Grant 24-7, uninterrupted! We have so much fun together and love the same things. It was a most wonderful time!

Different Experience

2011-10-26T11:53:00.000-07:00

Soccer is a complete different experience with and for Asher. He is not at all aggressive, and quite honestly not all that invested. But it is all his, his practice and his team, and that is important for him!He typically follows the game around at a distance if he chooses to follow. (He is the one in red all the way to the left.)
Other things often are more appealing than the game, even when he is in the game. (Like last game when he was much more focused on licking the oranges off of his hand than kicking the ball.)
But he has a huge grin on his face when he is on the field and says he loves it!
I do think he loves the snacks after the game more than anything else.
But as long as he loves it and it is all about him, we will root and cheer and watch this little guy play (or lick his hands!)

Intense

2011-10-26T11:29:00.000-07:00

Intense....that is one word to describe Caleb. He is intense in about all he does, and soccer is no exception! He is all about business and the game!He is such a hustler. Very few kids can beat him in a foot race. (There is one kid on his team that can beat him, but he is two years older and at least a foot taller, so his stride dwarfs him. I would venture to say that 8 year old Caleb would smoke 8 year old Max, but that is just me.)
This year they started throw ins. Caleb loves it, he always wants to be the one throwing the ball in. He takes that pretty serious too!
It is unreal to me the positions in which he can contort his body to get more energy for kicking the ball. (He also does this thing with his tongue but you cannot see it in any of these pictures.) Grant says the weird body contortions are good...I will take his word for it.
I love this picture, this is him scoring a goal. Just look at the angle of the boys and the drive. It is really fun to watch this kid play! The best part about it is how much he loves it!
So I think we are going to be a soccer family for awhile, and I am way okay with it (but also ready for the season to be over and life a smidgen less crazy.) Go Arsenal!

Secret Handshake-Hug

2011-10-18T13:32:00.000-07:00

James and Bub have one recess at the same time. When I realized that I asked them if they ever saw each other. They said sometimes. I told them I thought they should find each other every day say hi and then go back to playing with their friends. Together we all decided they should make up either a secret handshake or a hug, find each other, do that then go back to business as usual. So, all on their own they made up a secret handshake-hug. They find each other every day and do it. I think it is about the coolest thing ever. (Note: the purpose of this picture was for them to both show off their front toothless grins, how often do siblings experience that together.)
Asher and Mique were not about to be outdone. They too made up their own secret handshake hug to do when they are in school together. I am not sure they still remember it, but they were all about it for a couple of days. What cuties huh!
I do not expect the kids to be best friends. But, I do hope they are always friends and ALWAYS stick up for each other. Such good kids!

Introducing...

2011-09-29T11:44:00.000-07:00

Introducing King Henry II. So Jamison got a new fish and she is just as enamored with him as she was with Henry. She wanted to name him Henry too, so I suggested King Henry II, cause quite frankly I am sure we will have a King Henry III, IV, V, VI....and so on. She just calls him Henry though. Jamison sobbed when I told her, almost to the point of not being able to breathe. I just hugged her. I asked her if she wanted to flush him or bury him. She wanted a burial. We took pictures and she put him in the flower garden so when the flowers bloom she can think of him. I asked her if she wanted to go pick a new fish, she told me no. I had her call Grant to console her and after she came to me saying Dad told her she could go pick a new fish (did I not offer the same....then again I killed the first!) On Monday Grant took her out all by herself and they found King Henry. Grant walked back in house after and said she is officially a girl. To which I asked, "well why????" He said he took her to petco where there was a WHOLE wall of beta fish and the one she immediately picked was the most expensive in the store. There was no dissuading her, and Henry has now taken up residence in the Allred family bowl. (He should be safe in there, it is just when in the cup mingled with dirty dished that he should fear.) All peace and happiness has been restored. A few tears were shed in this process, but many more laughs were shared (including my own.) Oh the life of the Allreds!!!

Beware...killer on board

2011-09-22T15:21:00.000-07:00

So, I feel terrible. I killed Jamison's beloved fish Henry. Apparently when I get overloaded I do not pay attention well enough and others suffer. I have had Perry and Christi's kids for a week, and we leave out of town tonight. I am trying to get the laudry done and folded, all people packed, the Webb's repacked and all theiristuff gathered, wrap Asher's presents, pick up the house, do the dishes, feed the kids and clean it up, clean the fish bowl and feed it, and have all the stuff loaded in the car in two and a half hours. I was on a roll, got the fish bowl cleaned out and was waiting for the water purifyer to finish it's think before I put the fish back in the bowl and feed him. While I waited I figured I would do the dishes...and totally threw Henry down the drain. Caleb looked at me when the dishes were done and asked where Henry was. My heart sank. Thank goodness I did not do the disposal, and after digging around found him in tact...but dead. I killed him with hot water. James is going to be devastated. I feel so bad. When she gets home from dance we will do a flushing ceremony. Caleb promised to help console her. I killed my daughter's pet....I hope she is only mad at me for a bit!

Soccer Days

2011-09-17T13:39:00.000-07:00

So, I am officially a mom of two soccer players. Caleb is doing fantastic and loves it (More bragging on him to come!) Asher....well Asher is having a blast. He does not really know what he is doing, but he tries to be engaged. He is happy as a kid could be out on the field. He has the biggest grin on his face, and it never leaves. He runs with a little skip every few steps. He does not care who scores a goal, as long as it is his team he does a fist pump. He is mostly excited for his team party at the end of the season. He had a game today, and as he was walking back with Grant he said, "You know dad, everything I did today was pretty much awesome." I am seriously laughing as I type this. Yes Asher, YOU ARE AWESOME!

There is a reason

2011-08-25T14:17:00.000-07:00

There is a reason this girl came to us so cute. The other week Isaac needed a diaper change. I told Isaac to go get me a diaper (he is so good to help me a little). He disappeared in the other room and then I hear one of the kids say Isaac's diaper is off. This is not good since it was one of the very smelly nature and I was not involved with the removal. I went to inspect and found that Mique was so kind to take it off. I know she was trying to help but seriously, the carpet suffered...BADLY! I was not sure if I was even going to be able to get it out. It involved a lot of scrubbing and carpet cleaning solution, but I finally got it out. But, then the next day I told her to go clean her room. I went down to inspect and found that this 2 almost 3 year had made her bed all by herself. It is a queen bed with lot of pillows, and though it was not smooth and perfect she pulled all the covers up and all the pillows were in their right spot. It made the previous day melt away. And that is why she is so cute. When she is a holy terror I just stop for a minute when she is smiling at me and talking with her cute little lisp and we are good again.

Lead Guitar

2011-08-23T14:10:00.001-07:00

Jamison is doing Dance again this year. She has been very excited and I am thrilled she is doing something active. Miquelyn kept talking about how she does ballet (which I did not sign her up and was not ready to take that on with her quite yet.) On Friday Jamison asked me when her dance started. I told her Thursday. Miquelyn then looked at me and asked when her dance started. I told her she did not do dance. She then crumpled to the floor and began to sob. I caved and signed her up that day. She was THRILLED! I went to the store to get them both leotards, and this is what they picked: It is funny how what they picked is so......THEM! The best part is Mique calls it her Leegatar...so now Grant calls it her Lead Guitar. She wears it every day. Today was her first day and she got to wear it to class. And this adventure begins!!

Love Hate Relationship

2011-08-18T15:17:00.000-07:00

There was this commercial on television a couple of years ago. I believe it was a Nike commercial and it was all about the love hate relationship people have with running. At the time Britney and I were running together in the mornings and both totally identified with that commercial. I have a love hate relationship with running. I hate waking up early to run. I hate that feeling when I am tying the laces on my shoes and I am still talking myself into running. I hate how my body feels when I start. But.....I love how I feel when it is done (usually.) I love that I am being active. I love accomplishing a goal. I love how I feel when I am kicking my shoes off and know I did it. I love finishing a race, and love knowing I put in the hard work for it! In March I ran my 3rd Moab Half Marathon. Just weeks before my world crashed down on me and effected my body's ability to run. I ran my slowest time ever...and was frustrated! I kept telling myself I should be proud that I even ran (and I did run every last step with my body screaming at me and shutting down.) But, it was hard, I was upset and even shed a few tears. That race was not on the love list.

So, I decided to pick myself back up and prove to myself that I could overcome it and do better. I signed up for a race in American Fork in July. I trained and was really hoping (feeling like I needed a lot of hope) to beat my best time and pr. It was the most beautiful run ever! I felt great. I pushed myself, and I beat my best time by nine minutes. I DID IT! I admit I was very proud of myself. I was alone (probably a good thing because I was holding back a few tears-and anyone that knows me I am big on crying!) This is why I love running. It is something I do for myself. It gives me a goal, and most definitely a reward.

But now that I am starting up again after a two weeks respite, I am reevaluating this love hate thing we have going!

Our Unique Family Home Evening

2011-08-15T16:27:00.000-07:00

Grant had the day off today (I love it when he does!) One the items on the schedule for days off is yard work, today was no exception. We had this out of control bush that needed to be removed, so we went to work. Grant decided that once it was done we should keep a little spot there for a pit to use our dutch oven for dessert. I thought it was a great idea. As we were cleaning the area we decided to use our left over retaining bricks and built a nice little fire pit into the ground in our back yard. When the kids realized what it was they insisted on foil dinners tonight. So after our fun day together we have dinner on the coals, survival bracelets being made for each of the kids (in colors that they picked for themselves) a dutch oven dessert on the menu and father's blessings to follow. A really good day!

p.s mind you we have a campfire in our backyard in 93 degree weather, I bet our neighbors are wondering what in the world!!!

Little Minds

2011-08-12T12:41:00.000-07:00

I love to watch how the little minds of our kids work. The other day Isaac took a water bottle out of the case. I told him to put it back. He walked over to the case and tried to put it back. But, it was not fitting the way he was trying. He looked at it for a minute and then tried several different angles until he got it back in. It never ceases to amaze me (even with the fifth kid) how well they comprehend, can follow commands, and problem solve before they can say a word.

Grant and I were also witness to something pretty amazing in Asher's thinking (at least we thought.) He was playing a game with Jamison and Caleb. Caleb was on one side of a wall throwing a football over it to Asher and James. Whoever got to the ball first got to throw it back over. Asher was a tad slower than James and rarely got the ball. He was getting frustrated and a little upset. We just told him to try to get to the ball faster. After several times of James getting the ball first, he finally got it. Instead of throwing it over the wall he walked over to Jamison, extended the ball to her and asked, "Are you going to be nice to me now." She answered yes, took the ball, and threw it over. From then on out, no matter who got the ball first, they took turns alternating who got to throw it.

Seriously, what four year old thinks to himself, "You know what, I think I will give up an instant satisfaction for a greater return in the end. If I share with my sister after finally getting it, she just might share with me." The answer to that is our dear Asher. This kid's mind is AMAZING. My mom thinks the kids in these days need to be sharp for what they have ahead of them. I would agree, but there is just something about the way he works...it is something else!

So that Means...

2011-07-24T16:22:00.000-07:00

After Mikael's reception we were heading out to the car to get the kids home. I lagged behind a bit and when I got in the car Grant told me a little story. He said that he was in the parking lot and looked all around to make sure the coast was clear. After he confirmed they were alone he relieved himself of the stomach pressure he was experiencing. Asher asked, "Who was that." Grant answered, "Ummmm, I think it was Isaac." To which Asher replied, "Ok, so that means it was you." Enough said.

This Boy of Ours...

2011-07-15T09:36:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we were at the park, crazy I know withe 95ish degree weather, but we were there with family. I got to be time to go and I was getting all the kids loaded up. Caleb was the remaining body to enter the car. He was putting his shoes on, and I kept telling him to just put them on in the car. He finally looked at me and told me he was going to run home. I was not comfortable with that considering how hot it was and how long he had already been in the sun. I told him he could not, that I did not think it was safe since it was so hot. He melted, cried and sobbed. I tried to tell him I was so sorry he was so upset, but it was not a good day to run outside. We got home and he was still crying and upset. I finally asked him if he would feel better if I let him run on the treadmill, to which he quickly replied, "YES!"

So, he got his shoes on, changed his clothes and was as happy as a lark. I put him on the treadmill at about a 13:20 pace and he ran a mile...our 6 year old very happily ran a mile. He would have run longer and faster had I let him. This kids just screams ATHLETE! It is so much of who he is. He impresses me constantly!

2 things that made me laugh yesterday

2011-07-07T08:50:00.000-07:00

Asher and I were talking about Grant's birthday. He asked me if he was going to have a cake. I told him no, Dad does not really like cake. To which Asher said, "Then we better make sure he has presents."

Grant is doing the special olympics with Scott again. While Grant was getting the golf cart I was talking to Scott. He was doing his stretches while he told me he just got back from a family reniun with his cousins. I asked him if it was his mom's family that had the reunion. He stopped dead in his tracks, looked at me and said, "It's my family too Brittani."

Photo Contest

2011-06-16T07:32:00.001-07:00

My SIL entered a photo contest of a picture she took, so I thought I might as well follow suit. I love this pic of James, someone even asked me if I would try and duplicate it when she gets married...I am so not thinking that far ahead. Let's just keep her at eight right now! This is the raw image, no editing...and I love it!

Humanity

2011-06-15T11:41:00.000-07:00

I love it when humanity surprises me....for the better that is.

Let me explain:
Our kids love to go to the driving range and hit golf balls. It is good for them to do this together and also to learn respect and etiquette of golf. The other week Grant went into work a little late, so that morning we took them to the driving range. Grant took the older four down while I went into the pro shop with the baby to buy the bucket of balls. As I walked down I saw the four sitting nicely and quietly on the bench. As I got close to the kids an older gentleman looked at us (our circus show as I call us, you know the act when clowns just keep coming and coming out of the car...that is how I feel). He asked if they were always this well behaved, to which I quickly replied NO....but for the most part they are good kids. He made a few other kind comments and then we were on our way. We took the kids all the way to the other end of the range in hopes to not bother any of the other golfers. It is an adventure keeping them contained, quiet and respectful, but we try. About half way through the bucket of balls, that same gentleman approached us with another large bucket of balls. He set them down and said, "You guys have five kids, the last thing you need to worry spending money on is a bucket of balls, here these are for you. Besides you can never have too many balls to hit."

Considering all the bad we see on the news and in the world, moments like this make me smile, happy and want to be a better person to all around me, even strangers. He made my day, and probably did not even really realize it.

Back to the pool

2011-06-01T13:14:00.000-07:00

It is that time of year again when swimming is what we do. Last year the weather did not cooperate until mid June, and even then it was not all that warm. This year is proving to be a little better, so we took advantage and headed to the pool. When Grant got home from work he was asking the kids how it went and what pool they were in. I gave him the low down, who went in the big pool, who went under water, who was scared of the floaty and who did not want floaties on her arms. Asher piped in saying, "Well I met two girls." I do not even have any words for this!!!!!

Do you ever

2011-05-24T19:39:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have one of those days where you are just off and can never get your mood right...that is me today. Hopefully tomorrow will be brighter!

First Birthdays

2011-05-17T20:13:00.000-07:00

My favorite part of the first birthday is letting the kid go to town on their cake (or cupcake). It is fun to watch their reaction...first pick at it, get a bit of frosting on their finger, lick it and get a little taste. Try for a little more next time and quickly move to grabbing, then dig in and stuffing their mouth. Oh the mess, so fun! For this kiddo, this was my favorite picture! Gotta love it.

(courtesy of my awesome new Nikon my husband bought me)

Brothers

2011-05-07T15:36:00.000-07:00

These two have some similarities and A LOT of differences. One thing that is exactly the same is that they have the same mom and dad...hence they are 100 % brothers! They do not always get along, see eye to eye, and often drive each other nuts...but they will always have each other. What more could a mom ask for, two boys looking out each other and taking care of one another. These two boys, they have got to stick together!

(Today Asher bonked his noggin and the started to cry. Caleb when right over to him, wrapped his arms around him and patted his back while Asher cried on his shoulder. It was soooo sweet! And someday I will tell Caleb how Asher was watching out for his big brother and saved him!)

Kiddos

2011-04-27T09:53:00.000-07:00

I know everyone thinks their own kids are adorable...but seriously I think we have done pretty good! They each have something that just melts me and makes them so dang cute! These kiddos are what it is all about for Grant and me!

Family Pics

2011-04-26T15:05:00.000-07:00

Easter has always been our unofficial family picure time. I think we have only missed one year since we have had kids, so I was not about to miss this year. I have to tell you though, a family pic with 5 kids and a timer....not so easy. We took lots of pictures to try and get a "decent" one. This year Mique was cracking me up. It is hilarious (at least to me) to see the progression of her expressions. Always an adventure in our house!

It was a wonderful Easter and happiness (true happiness) in the Allred home!

You better guard your cupcakes

2011-04-07T07:52:00.000-07:00

You better guard your cupcakes or......

This little sneak will snatch them away and leave behind a path of destruction

Discipline

2011-04-04T16:36:00.001-07:00

If discipline is not one of the most difficult aspects of parenting, then I do not know what is. I am not sure if it is finding the right consequence to fit the action without letting emotion rage, or if it is the consistency and follow-thru, or the fact that due to the nature of being a stay at home mom I am the one that does most of the disciplining....but it all just wears on me. I swear the kids have tuned out the tone and pitch in which my voice resides (Grant says I do the same to the kids, which when other adults are around I do....I just want to hear and talk to someone other than them, so yes I am guilty.) Today Asher was royally pushing it with me, so I resorted to something I never do...I called Grant. I think I just needed a calm voice to make sure I did not raise mine. He talked to Asher, and Asher realized that dad would not save him and what mom says goes...it did not make Asher behave, but it sure made me behave and not lose it. I guess I need to call on my better half more often if nothing more than to back me up and let the kids know mom and dad are in this together.

Have you ever...

2011-03-21T09:09:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been in the thick of the storms of life when things seem overwhelming, frustrating, endless, broken, impossible.........then you lock eyes with you sweetheart and in a whisper almost inaudible he says, "I Love you!" and just for a moment the noise ceases, the storm calms and your heart swells. Well I have, and I tell you what, it is as close to magic as possible!

Siblings are forever

2011-03-16T17:39:00.000-07:00

Today the kids wanted to run home from aunt Christi's house. They all took off and Asher almost immediately took a dive. I was in the car and watched him go down and his face snap into the sidewalk. I threw the car in park and watched Jamison and Caleb instantly turn around and run back to their brother. He was crying of coarse, his teeth nicked his upper lip and was bleeding a bit. I asked him if he wanted to get in the car, and through tears he said, "No I am still going to run." He popped up after a minute and was off again. When we almost got home he was out of gas. The two older kids were basically to the driveway and Asher was back a ways at a stand still, upset. I watched as the two older kids stopped, turned around, ran to Asher and walked side by side with him until they were all home. This was such a good moment for mom. We tell the kids all the time that friends will come and go, but they will always have their brothers and sisters. They need to watch out for each other. We have had several experiences as of late where that has been manifest, whether they know it or not. Today I was able to witness the love of siblings in my own kids and it was a sweet sweet moment!

Lunch at Dadda's work

2011-03-03T17:20:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we took lunch to Grant at work and ate with him. Asher was eating chicken nuggets and the following transpired:

Me: Asher, be careful you are getting crumbs everywhere.

Asher: Well I am sorry, but that happens, it just comes with eating.

(Well there you go...........where on earth did we get this kid?)

I had no clue

2011-03-02T08:00:00.000-08:00

When I put her in a basket for the first time, I had no clue what I was starting. She obviously loved it.

It became a place to color.

A place she felt safe.

And it is still a place for her to read.

I am not sure what the fascination is with the baskets, but the kids love them. They are their hiding places, their beds, their cars, their boats...a tool of their imagination. I love it!

This Kid

2011-02-28T12:33:00.000-08:00

To begin the story about a month ago I left this note in Caleb's lunch and he loved it. For the most part He is a really good kid. He is so smart and can be so sweet. But, every once in awhile he acts his age and drives me nuts. I try to remind myself that he is only 6, and it is not normal for him to be so good all the time. So this go round his streak was worse than normal and longer than normal. He was really acting like a spoiled brat, and that is one of many things I will not put up with. He pushed it too far and too long.....and then....

On the back side of that very note I gave him weeks before (which obviously he had kept) he wrote me a little note and left it by my alarm clock to find when I went to bed. All his attitude melted away, as did my heart, and all was right again. He could not have done anything more perfect!

I tell you what........this kid, we are so in trouble with him, hopefully good trouble!

(BTW he already has the girls in K swooning over him, yikes!)

Fatso

2011-02-23T18:55:00.000-08:00

Isaac is what we affectionately refer to as our Fatso. He was by far our biggest baby. Today was his 9 month check-up, so I was excited to see how much he weighed. I was surprised when he was only 17 pounds 4 ounces. I really thought he would be more. So, I wanted to compare where he is to his siblings at the same age (give or take a month) and it was interesting to me that we are fairly consistent, except of coarse our anomaly James. So the stats go as so:

9 Months (give or take a month):
Isaac: 17 lbs 4 ounces
Miquelyn: 16 lbs 11 ounces
Asher: 17 lbs 4 ounces
Caleb: 16 lbs 5 ounces
Jamison: 13 lbs 2 ounces

So that begged the question, for me at least, where are they all now:
Isaac we know
Miquelyn: 25 lbs
Asher: 33 lbs
Caleb: 39 lbs
James 37 lbs (yet she is the tallest, funny girl)

I do not know why this is so fun and interesting to me, but it is!

Sure Fire

2011-02-19T16:24:00.000-08:00

Asher learned yesterday one sure fire way to get in trouble with his dad.....just call his mom big and fat. It did not go over so well. I tried not to laugh when we were talking about it. When asked what that meant all he could come up with was big feet, oh well he now knows never to say that again!

An ER visit later

2011-02-09T16:23:00.000-08:00

So the MRSA was not getting better and Grant and I decided, after talking to the nurse helpline, that I needed to go ahead and hit the ER. I got a great Doc that I know and he took care of me. An IV antibiotic, another inch long and 3/4 inch deep incision, and a new anibiotic later, hopefully this will do the trick. I am a gimp but hopefully I am on my way!

MRSA

2011-02-08T13:57:00.000-08:00

MRSA seems to be my nemesis. I have not had it in almost a year, but that streak ended last week. I was managing it pretty well with antibiotic cream since Wednesday. By Sunday it was not getting worse, but it was also not getting better. I decided to go to Urgent Care to get it drained and an antibiotic. They drained it, packed it gave me an rx and I was on my way. This usually means it will start getting better...usually. The next day I went to take the packing out and it broke. The infection had tripled and I was in a lot of pain. I went back to Urgent care, got cut open again and cleaned out as best they could. This time HURT! They never found the first packing, but now I have a new one. The infection sight which started out as about the size of a 50 cent piece is now as long as my hand and almost as wide. This is the worst I have ever had it. It is on my hip, so walking is far from comfortable...which means no running! I have been taking lots of little naps and stayed in PJ's most of the two days. Here is to getting better and more sleep so MRSA will just.leave.me.alone!

Doing things her way

2011-01-27T13:46:00.000-08:00

Anyone who knows Miquelyn knows that she does things HER way. It can be very frustrating, exhausting, annoying.......the list could go on, but finally it has paid off! Less than three weeks ago she told me during sacrament meeting that she wanted to go potty. I thought whatever, but I will take her any way. Low and behold she went. She had done this a few other times, and I decided maybe she was ready. So, that day we started. I did not slow my life down at all, and she did fantastic. Within 4 days I was taking her out all over town running errands in her undies. I can count her accidents and less than two hands. For almost 2 weeks she has been telling me when she needs to go, I do not even have to ask. She even wears her undies for nap time and to bed at night. She has done AMAZING...and I think it was all because it was her idea. I have a feeling if this girl puts her mind to something, it will get accomplished. She has been my youngest and by far the easiest. Thanks Mique for giving me a break.....lovin only one in diapers!

(P.S. special thanks to cousins Logan and Tiegan who helped decide she wanted to be a big girl and wear undies!)

Isaac...growing boy.

2011-01-23T14:33:00.000-08:00

There is just something about this kid. I cannot explain it, but how can you not absolutely love him and want to (as his dad would say) bite his face off.

Tragedy

2011-01-22T12:07:00.000-08:00

I am not sure if it is that I am getting older, know more people, am more aware...or if tragedy is just striking more, but it seems like I am constantly hearing about a tragedy involving someone I know. I am not going to lie, it REALLY effects me. Especially when the loss is that of a child. This week a good family friend...one that I have known as long as I can remember, lost their 3 month old baby to SIDS. My heart aches for this family. I cannot even imagine the pain and heartache (I do not want to imagine it). I think about them all the time. I wish there was something I could do. I am so grateful for our knowledge of the Plan of Salvation, and even though it does not take away the pain of loss, it puts perspective in an eternal nature. This family will be together again, this little soul received his body and can now gain his eternal rewards. I have felt to strongly that these parents are special chosen people to face this situation of being a part of the creative process providing their boy a body and having to let him go WAY too soon. It is good to know that their family surrounds them at this time.

I think part of the reason I am so affected is that my baby is only 8 months old. I cannot imagine having him one day, and not the next. He has not been feeling well the last couple of days, and I have taken the time to hold him close and tight. The other night we slept most of it on the couch...I just rested his head on my arm, pulled him in close, kissed his face, and just looked at my precious little one. I love my little buddy and want to take every opportunity to enjoy him, all of the kids for that matter. Life is unpredictable, and thank goodness for the Gospel of Jesus Christ to ease these earthly burdens!

Long days

2011-01-13T21:59:00.000-08:00

It is 11:45 and I am just occupying my hands until Grant gets home. He went into work today at 8:00am, we took him lunch at work at 1:00pm, and now it is 11:45pm and he is still at work (but hopefully heading home pretty soon.) They were setting up the new phones and what he thought would be a couple hour job has turned in to much MUCH more. I feel so bad for him, he has got to be exhausted. This week he has already been at work for 52 hours, and two days left in the work week so at minimum another 22 (yep over 74 hours, yikes!). The hard part is that there is no other way to do it right now. I am just afraid he is so worn down and without any time to recoup, he will get sick. It will get better...it will get better. I wish his superiors truly understood the time, energy and effort he is putting into this. He is one of the hardest workers I have ever known, and no one can argue that. I wish he could have a little time to take care of himself, he is such a good man. Longs days are necessary, but I (and he too I am sure) will be so glad when they are long gone!

New Tricks

2011-01-10T15:55:00.001-08:00

So guess who all of the sudden is getting to the sitting up position from laying down...seriously Isaac slow down or before I know it you will be running away from me instead of grabbing on to me!

Miquelyn for the last week has ocassionally told me she wants to go potty. So, I take her and she goes every time. Yesterday I put her in "undies" as she calls them and only had one accident. She has gone the whole day today without any problems. She was ready, I was not, but I do not want to miss the window, so here we go. Mique...you can go full force ahead on this one....beautiful thought of only one in diapers and only one left to potty train!

It never ceases to amaze me how these kiddos grow up in such a blink of an eye. it is a wild ride!

You never know

2011-01-04T08:06:00.000-08:00

Every Christmas Eve my family does a white elephant gift exchange. It is a year long event, in that year round we are looking for the next year's best gift. No matter what, we can never know what the big hit of the night will be. I really thought the reappearance of Patches O'Hollihan (sp) was going to be the big event, but I was wrong. When Asher saw these, he just had to have them, and they instantly became the hit of the night. Doesn't he look adorable!

Enough so that Dad had to join in on the fun.

Now Caleb was not about to be left out.

Isaac needed to join the party.

Ok, party over...well it made me laugh pretty dang hard while it lasted. It was a great one Mikael, thanks for the endless entertainment!

This new year

2011-01-03T08:21:00.000-08:00

If the last couple of days are indicative of our year...I think I will crawl back in bed and try again in 2012. I know, not the best attitude to start, but I was hoping for a better year and so far it has not been so.

It started with the stomach flu for Asher (both directions). I feel so bad for kids that have this.

It turned into Grant getting a nasty cold (which he still has not totally recovered from the one he got a month ago.)

Caleb fell down the stairs before church yesterday.

Asher seemed better, went to church, and within the first 20 minutes had to be rushed home. (Thank goodness Grant had stayed home....indicator of how crappy he felt...because I had to sub in primary.)

Caleb now has the bug (both directions.)

On top of the normal massive amounts of laundry, much more has been added on.

I have a 7 month old that is not even close to sleeping through the night...Those late night trips up and down the stairs take it out of me.

I was asking Grant about work last night and tried to accept the realization that he now will be working 6 days a week for at least 11-12 hour days without a lunch break...which to me translates to doing a lot on my own and trying to explain to the kids why he has to be gone (not my favorite.)

Seeing my hope of a "magical" Disney vacation this year fade away.

I laid in bed last night thinking about it all, I just wanted to cry...yep 2012 is looking better all the time.

So I tried to see the positive:

2011 has brought us a new couch for our TV room so we can finally watch a movie as a family in comfort.

Even though Grant is gone a lot, when he is around he is very "present" and gives his all to the kids...and it is evident how much they adore him.

Disney will be there next year.

This new dealership is good for our family, I just have to be patient and let it and my husband grow.

Illness is temporary, and it too shall pass.

I can do hard things (even though I do not want to have to), and my family is in tact and working together.

I have a good life, wonderful kids, the best husband and so many blessings I cannot count them all. It will get better and so will my ability to cope.

So, I am going to work on a few things I want and need to do for this year, and hopefully it will help me feel better and be better.

Better for me

2010-12-20T22:18:00.000-08:00

It was one of those days when by the end of the day my patience was short...too short. It looked like Grant was going to be working late so I fed the kids without him and it was about time to be off to FHE. I have to say I had a bad attitude for several reasons.

1. Grant has been working what I refer to as "stupid crazy hours" and for the last several months he has only been home for about 1 or 2 family home evenings. I get tired of doing it all by myself. I am exhausted by that point, and to have to try and control all the kids and teach them at the same time does not always work out in my favor. So I was not exactly jazzed about doing it by myself again.

2. We wanted to do something for a family in our ward, and we were given the name of an older lady who has struggled with some physical limitations. What she needed was some attention and time. Grant and I both thought, "seriously could you have picked a worse family," (meaning Grant and I) right now our time, especially Grant's is sooooo limited. For FHE the plan was to take her a gingerbread house the kids made and let her know we were thinking of her. I was feeling like this was not going to be fun by myself and 5 kids in the home of a person they do not know.

So trying to not doing it begrudgingly, we headed out after dinner. On the way one of the kids made me mad, and I was ready to give up, and stop trying so hard to do everything I know I need to, but feel like I do not have the energy to do by myself. I tried to shake it off, we practiced our song we were going to sing and we went forward.

We got there, the kids were shy, but warmed up super quick. We went into her home, we chatted, and the kids played. Each of the kids, besides Isaac, gave her several hugs. Isaac smiled at her. She called them angels and kept saying how we made her night. She was thrilled and smiled the whole time. My spirits lifted, and it ended up being a great night.

It was one of those experiences where I tried to be of service, but gained so much more than given. I needed tonight, and I learned that pushing through the rough patches brings it's rewards!

Don't Be so Brittani

2010-12-15T19:29:00.000-08:00

I have wanted a front load washer and dryer for years...but I never could justify it. Lately my laundry has gotten out of control and takes me FOREVER, so Grant and I have been tossing around the idea of biting the bullet and making the purchase. We called everyone we knew that has one (which incidentally is every single family member except us on both sides) and asked what they had, if they liked them, and what the issues were that they have had. That was months ago. I kind of dropped it, but in the last couple of weeks we started looking again. We went to stores, asked a lot of questions and I finally committed to exactly what I want. Now it was time to sit and wait for a rockin deal.

In the meantime our ice maker on our refrigerator broke. When the repairman was here for that I asked him which ones break down the most so I felt secure in my decision. He proceeded to tell me every reason not to get a front load. He ended with saying the only good thing he has to say about them is they make him money. So, by the end of the day I was talked out of them. I talked with Grant about what he told me and we agreed there were some points he made that simply did not make sense.

So...I started reading about them again and am not thinking I am not ready to give up on the dream of front loads. I called Amy to ask her a question about hers and we talked about it. After a bit she said, "I am going to say this with love, but stop being so....Brittani. Don't second guess yourself and just go for it."

I love that she said that to me, cause it is "SO Brittani!" I am not the best about making decisions when it involves spending money...but I am still not decided so I guess I am Brittani through and through.

Somewhere else

2010-12-02T16:16:00.001-08:00

Asher has been having rough days lately. When we first moved he would say I want to go to the other house. We finally broke him of that, but now he just says I want to go somewhere. Last night Jamison took the blue plate and he was beside himself. He was sobbing and being ridiculous. Grant was not home, and not coming home until after church, and I was losing my steam. He would not calm down for anything. I was to the point of wanting to yell at him (but I have been working really hard on not yelling and doing really good, so I did not want to lose it) so when he said I want to go somewhere else I told him to go right ahead, that would be just fine with me. He kept saying it over and over and I finally when I told him again to go, sobbing he looked at me and said, "But I don't even know how to start the car." It might have been just a little bit hard not to laugh!

Only a stay at home mom

2010-11-18T14:55:00.000-08:00

I was talking to someone the other day that was telling me about an experience they had. Someone had expected her to be able to do something and prefaced it with, "Well I thought you could because you are only a stay at home mom." Now it turns out she redacted that comment because she had too once been a "stay at home mom", but it got me thinking. I do not think people fully comprehend what it is and what it requires to be a stay at home mom. Only is the word that gets me. It is more than a full time job. No one can really know what it is like until they are in the thick of it. There are exhausting days with no thanks or monetary gain at the end of it. You can never leave work, even in the middle of the night being a stay at home mom is still with you. It requires being a teacher, a nurse, a counselor, a friend, a disciplinarian, a maid and cook, an accountant, a taxi, and so much more. Though I do not envy those that have to work, There are occasions (more than a few) where I offer to trade Grant jobs for a day...he does not hesitate saying no way, your job is way harder than mine. That said, I would not trade doing it for money, fame, praise, prestige or anything (well except maybe a break.) Because I am home I get to talk with my kids, laugh with them, cry with them, teach them, help them, and simply be with them. We need to get that only word out of there and proudly proclaim , "I am a stay at home mom...with ALL that it entails!"

Guess Who?

2010-11-15T14:14:00.001-08:00

Guess who is sitting? And add rolling to that list too. In fact he tends to roll right off the couch. He is getting so big, yet somehow the eyes seem to remain proportionately bigger! Gotta love this little man!

Shoe Snob?

2010-11-11T13:45:00.000-08:00

Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE SHOES! I am not sure if it has always been that way, but it has been so for quite some time. When I graduated from the U, to celebrate I went and bought myself a new pair of shoes. I hardly ever wear them anymore, but I just cannot get rid of them because they are sentimental...they remind me of finishing school and having our first baby. That being said, I try not to have too many shoes. Even when I am buying new ones, I am donating old ones. Now I get to buy shoes for the kinds instead of just me. So the question comes, am I a shoe snob. My answer is yes and no. I have to admit I love my kiddos to have a good pair of Keens (how can you not just love these...well I do!) The beauty of it is, they are so durable that most pairs will be worn by all 5 children. (who does not love passing clothes down...I would venture to say I love it just about as much, maybe even more then buying the kids new clothes.) I am not a big fan of light up and character shoes, so maybe a little snobbish, but that is just me. In the beginning I loved shoes that were gender neutral so they could be passed down, but the older the kids get, the harder it is to do that. So, tennis shoes....there is where I feel I am not a snob. I have found that my favorite tennis shoes have been the Walmart ones. They last the best, way better than champion! So when I found these cute white ones with little flowers for James, I had to get them even though they were a little big. The fact that they were 7 dollars and super durable makes them even better!

So my new issue with shoes is finding ones that tie. Now that my two oldest kids know how to tie their own shoes, I purposefully buy only shoes with laces. Am I weird? I feel like it is something they need to practice, because after all practice makes perfect. You would not believe how difficult it is to find shoes with laces (hence the buying a shoes that is a tad to big...to get her size there were no lace up shoes.) So maybe over all I am a snob, but what can I say....I have an opinion.

The Masterpiece and the Artist

2010-11-06T14:37:00.000-07:00

I get a phone call and someone is in need of assistance. I abandon my previous task and sit down at the computer for a brief moment to find a phone number for someone on the phone. Might I add it was a very brief moment, and when I turned around found the masterpiece... A work of art from head to toe...literally.

And the artist was none other than our sweet little 2 year old. She did not take her discovery too well.

What do you do? Draw on (anything or anyone apparently.)

Little Scavenger

2010-11-04T14:29:00.000-07:00

The kids got home today from school and we were on the couch looking at their folders and reading a book. All kids were gathered round and then I noticed Mique quietly leave our pow wow and find Caleb's backpack. As there was hustle bustle about her, she was silently opening the backpack, found his lunch box, and went to work opening that. When she got it open and found that there was not anything left over, she threw it aside and hunted for other food sources. This is not the first time I have witnessed something of the like. This girl is driven by food!

Are you...

2010-10-27T23:34:00.000-07:00

So, I had to go to Walmart this afternoon to look for something for Grant. I was walking in and one lady looked at me and asked, "Are you a daycare." She was so sweet and innocent I had to try and not laugh. "Nope they are all mine." And then the flattery, "How old are you, you look like a teenager." My mom always told me that looking young would someday be a compliment...we are there!

tuning out

2010-10-22T13:13:00.000-07:00

I can tune my kids out, this I know. Sometimes Grant has to gently remind me that one of the kids is trying to talk to me. So why do I think it is okay to tune them out when it is clearly not okay for them to tune me out. I have really noticed in the last little bit. The other night I asked the kids to do something nicely three times, and no one even remotely responded to my voice. Grant followed me with the same request, and on the first try the kids jumped into action. He is constantly telling them to obey me and to do so the first time. The other day I was thinking that I should try and go a full day without raising my voice. That very same evening I ended up yelling a demand after asking several times nice. They reacted to the yell...I hate that! Maybe if I stop tuning them out, they will return the favor.

If you were to walk in my closet:

2010-10-20T14:08:00.000-07:00

If you were to walk into my closet, there would be three things you would look at and say, "Seriously Brittani, is that necessary?" I probably have too many, but I simply cannot help myself. Your first guess would probably be shoes, but I have actually scaled back on those, just a little bit. What you would see would be a whole slew of white shirts, black shirts and hoodies. I Love white shirts, I love the way they look on, I love how versatile they are...and I cannot resist them. I have a need for white tanks, casual white t-shirts, dressy white t-shirts, white undershirts, white button down....you get the picture. The same can be said about black. And the hoddies, who does not love a good hoodie? I have plain zip, fancy zip, pull overs, 3 major colleges...I love how easy they are, how they hide the mid section, and how warm...I love that feeling. (My black hoodie just died...I am so sad, I guess I have a need!) So no, it may not be necessary, but it is me and as of now I am not going to change!

The attack of the pen

2010-10-19T13:31:00.000-07:00

The other day I let the kids sit on our bed and watch television. When I came back a little later I found that Mique had written all over our white down comforter with a ball point pen. I was LIVID, and she was in trouble. I sent Grant a message about it and he asked if I would be able to get it out. As the day went on and I thought about it...trying to not get really bugged, a thought came to mind. If something were to happen to Miquelyn tomorrow I would want the pen marks to last forever and never wash away. It is not that big of a deal, and I will not let it be...I guess it is a matter of "perspective"!

Perspective

2010-10-18T13:24:00.000-07:00

As I was running on the treadmill the other day I was thinking about my perceptions and perspective. This is where it started:

I always start my run at about a 12 minute pace and increase it to warm up and get used to running. When I hit the 10 minute a mile pace I feel like I am booking it, but I am still just warming up. I increase the speed more and do intervals with 8:30 minute miles, up to 8 minute mile pace. After I have increased my speed and gotten my heart rate up, I drop my speed back down to catch my breath. I drop it back down to a 10 minute mile pace, only this time instead of feeling like I am booking it, I feel like it is a jog and I can catch my breath. It is the same exact pace, but what I have been through in the meantime affects the way it feels.

It made me think that this is how my trials feel sometimes. When I am beginning them I feel like they are unbearable and like my feet might fly out from underneath me. But as time goes on, and I continue to work through them, I can look back and feel so much less pain and see my growth and new stamina. Our perspective changes if we let it and we can see the good that comes from fighting through the pain!

Mortality

2010-10-16T16:54:00.000-07:00

It is odd to see the mortality in a loved one. My Grandma of 85 has many health concerns (parkinsons, diabetes, a condition that makes her randomly pass out) but she is a fighter. Lately she has fallen a lot, but is one tough cookie and always bounces back. She fell again on Thursday, but this one was bad. I went to the hospital to visit her even though I did not know if she would be awake or responsive. When I first walked in it was quite shocking. It was weird to see her in the hospital first of all, but to see her having deteriorated from her normal vibrant self. What was interesting to me was what followed after the initial shock. I sat by her bed and held her hand. I could see her open her eyes, turn towards me and then in her eyes I could see that she recognized me. She cannot speak but all it took was the look in her eyes and a couple pats on the hand. Eyes are truly the window to a persons soul, and I saw that in my Nanny today!

The injury she incurred to her brain has left her body involuntarily fidgety and she trashes around. I learned quickly that holding her hands, without even talking helped her relax her body, if even for moments. She calmed down enough to even get a few winks. It was a reminder to me how powerful a simple touch can be...even a kiss that can calm and relax a person in pain or distress.

While I was there Nanny tried to talk. Papa jumped right up to her side and said, "It is okay honey, what do you want to say? Did you try and say I love you? I love you (said with such tenderness)." Nanny's mouth instantly smiled. It was so wonderful to see that deep love, a love of so long that has been through so much. That is the kind of love we all deserve. What a great example to have.

Even though mortality is rearing its head, it has allowed great awarness and reflection for me.

Being the Aunt...Again!

2010-10-09T22:36:00.000-07:00

This week Grant and I went to Las Vegas for a business meeting he had. The cool part about Vegas (besides the outlets, quite possibly the only cool thing) is that my brother and his family recently moved to Vegas, so I got to see my Eva the Diva, Leighton the Monkey and the newest addition Dean, with hair that should make Isaac very, very jealous! Usually when I am around them I have all of my troops with me, so I feel like I have to focus most my energy on my own kids and do not truly get to enjoy my nieces and nephews. Well, this time with only Isaac in tow and Grant there to help, I was finally able to REALLY be present with these cuties! It was sooo much fun to make them giggle, to hold their hands, and to love on them. I cannot even begin to explain how good it felt to be able to help another mother (I feel like my sisters and sister-in-laws are allows giving me aide, and it is soooooo appreciated. I keep telling myself someday my kids will be more independent and I will get a chance to pay it forward.) Well, I was able to have a few moments of being there with my little Webb's, and it was absolutely wonderful. It is so fun to be the aunt again!

Assembly Line

2010-10-05T15:04:00.000-07:00

Some days I feel like an assembly line worker. Like on Saturday after baths when it was time to clip finger nails and toe nails. 50 finger nails, 50 toenails and fours "next"s later we were done. It amazes me how fast they grow and leaves me wondering, "When do I trust them to do it on their own?"

C+...maybe a B

2010-10-04T08:06:00.000-07:00

One of the things that plagues me is feeling like I do not have any real talents. I know that I hold myself to a ridiculous standard. It so it is silly because Grant and I have talked about it before and he feels the same way, yet I see in him amazing talents and abilities and always wish he could see himself through my eyes...so I remind myself that it is probably the same for me. That said I wish I was an A or A+ in talents (at least one) instead of feeling more like a B in several. I feel like I have the ability to do a lot of things, yet none of them really well. That is why when it comes to talent shows I proudly proclaim that my talent is supporting other people in their talents! I guess I also need to remember that we are usually looking at what we want in others (feeling like that is what we lack) while those very people are looking at us seeing what they wish they had. (Side note, even though I can become a bit envious of others, my gratitude to be surrounded by so many talented, beautiful and amazing people, more than overshadows it!) I made a commitment in my head while driving to Utah last week to stop covering my abilities (limited yet present) and share them. It will be good for me and important for my kids to see. Here is to being a B and being proud of it!

Teenagers

2010-10-03T19:58:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been terrified of teenagers...specifically our kids when they are teenagers. Part of this terror is brought on by the teenagers with whom we interact in our ward. It makes me realize some of the things we will be facing in less than 6 years. Grant and I have talked about what we could do to help our kids even before we had kids, but we talk about it a whole lot now. The closer we come to those teen years, the more worried I get. Today listening to General Conference some advice was given to the parents of teenager. My ears perked up and my mind became alert....I need this for future reference. As I listened to the five points, I realized I need it now just as much. It also made me feel good because we are doing most of this. As I reflect on it I realize that as we do it our kids are excited, inquisitive, learning and growing...all the while hopefully building thier own strength and testimonies of the gospel of Jesus Christ. So I do not forget here they are:

1. Family scripture study
2. Family Prayer
3. Family Home evening
4. Family Dinner
5. Individual Interviews with each kid

I know I cannot make my kids decisions for them, but I do know I want them to be better than we were and want them to live well and be happy. I am grateful for living prophets and apostles that remind us what we can do to help. We will keep on keepin on and hold off those teen years as long as we can...but do everything possible in the mean time to help them be good confident people.

I sure know how to pick them

2010-10-02T08:52:00.000-07:00

I do not know how I do it, but I know how to pick them every time. With these odds maybe I should try Vegas...but then again what I am picking is not a good thing. No matter what I always manage to pick the line in the store (mostly grocery store) that will take the longest, even if it is the shortest line. Last week I found a line that was super short, in fact the checker was almost done. And then it began. It appeared as if the man did not have enough money, so he was waiting for someone to come help him out. After a good five minute wait another person finally came and started to decide what they could take out to be able to pay. That process took a bit, but even after that there were problems. Apparently they were trying to pay with food stamps and he was trying to buy some popcorn chicken that food stamps does not cover. They got that out, then between him and two other people they rounded up about 60 cents to pay for it. Then the checker was trying to back everything out on the register to make the cost go down. She had problems and had to call a manager. The manager came over and could not figure it out. I think I was in the store shopping for about 15 minutes, and stood in line for about 35-40. I finally reloaded my cart and changed lines. As soon as I did that the first register finished and left...yep I sure know how to pick them. I have learned to not get frustrated, upset or rude because this is what I do. I always pick the line that is going to have problems. Maybe I should start letting the kids pick the line.

2010-10-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

There is definately a beauty beyond "wordly beauty" and I am glad I get to have it in my life!

I think he missed me

2010-09-29T08:48:00.000-07:00

On Sunday I got back from a short weekend trip to Utah. Grant had left town on Wednesday, so we had not seen each other in a few days. When I got home the house was all picked up, he was started on making dinner, he had picked fresh flowers from the garden and put them in a bowl in the middle of the table, and when I walked in a HUGE smile was on his face. Yep, I think he missed me, and good thing because I sure missed him too!

Asherisms

2010-09-28T08:42:00.000-07:00

One of the things Asher wanted for his birthday was a suit...it was one of the main things he wanted. When he opened the present with a suit in it he jumped up and down squealing with pure delight. I am not sure we have had another kid so excited about any present. Not long after opening presents he came up to me and asked if he could wear his "birthday suit" to church on Sunday. Hmmmm, I am not sure about that one son :-)
___________________________________________
We were driving home from Utah and only 15 minutes away from the house. Asher asked if he could watch a movie. I told him no because we were almost home. He then said, "But mom if you let me watch a movie you will get a prize." I asked really, what is the prize. "I cannot tell you, I am not allowed to, but if you let me you will get a prize."

Asher's entrance

2010-09-22T13:22:00.001-07:00

Four years ago today we had a most unusual delivery. I was doing my usual days long labor and did not think much of the contractions I was having that morning. In the afternoon we went to lunch with the family to celebrate Chelsey's birthday. I remember being very uncomfortable during lunch with pretty strong contractions, but they were not super close together. After lunch I took Chelsey to get her first ever pedicure. As we walked through the Walmart parking lot it was difficult to walk through the pain, but I was determined to get my feet pampered and pamper Chelsey. That afternoon I went home and laid around. My mom kept calling and checking on me, but I kept saying it was not time yet. Grant came home and could tell I did not feel good, so he made noodles for dinner while I laid on the couch timing my contractions. they would go something like this: 8 minutes, 6 minutes, 2 minutes, 12 minutes, 10 minutes, 3 minutes, 8 minutes...you get the picture. Finally my mom came over with my dad and said they were going to stay with the kids and I was to go to the hospital. I did not want to because I did not want them to send me home. I finally decided that I would because they might be able to give me something to help me sleep. I had not packed a bag yet, so I quickly threw a few things together. My dad was parked in the driveway, so we took his Cadillac truck. The ride was painful, every bump hurt during a contraction. We got about 2 stop lights from the hospital and I asked if Grant could just stop until I got on top of the contraction. We went through two green lights and one red when I realized it was not going away. We went and I dealt with my situation. We got to the emergency room and I was so afraid the people would take their time thinking I was barely in labor. They were actually really quick and got me right up to labor and delivery. When we got there they asked me if I could fill out the paper work. I told them no and asked if my husband could. Then they asked me if I could stand on the scale, which I quickly replied, "NO." I got wheeled to a room and as soon as we got in there I told them I needed to push. Te lady said, "Oh honey, I am just a CNA, please do not push. It took a CNA and Grant to finally get me in a bed just after my water broke. Then everyone left. I looked at Grant and told him this baby was coming. He frantically ran out into the hall to find no one. He ran back in to check on me, then a moment later a nurse came in. They had to pull her from the neonatal nursery because there was no one else to help. She threw on some gloves, told Grant what to do, climbed on the table and delivered Asher. She was the only one there, so she turned her attention to the baby. The table with all the delivery equipment, untouched. They did not have time to get me an IV. It was a whirlwind. Less than 30 minutes after setting foot in the ER on the first level, we had Asher with us on the fifth level. If it were not for my mom, Asher would have come at home. He kind of does things his own way. He was our biggest baby yet, and perfect in every way. It was a whirlwind delivery, but very peaceful and calm holding him. I love this little man and am so glad to celebrate his place in our family today!

Hmmmm...

2010-09-16T13:21:00.001-07:00

Why is it so cute when it is a baby and so infuriating when it is a 7 year old?

Why do I like hiking so much?

2010-09-11T14:54:00.000-07:00

For one, sandwiches ALWAYS taste better in the mountains! It is fun to see the father of our kids carry this little tornado close by.

Who wouldn't love to play kangaroo for a bit and hold this cutie tight.

It is the best to be in the quiet mountains with just the sounds of our family and no one or anything else.

Did I mention the scenery, oh the beautiful scenery.

My favorite scenery of all is the following five:

Yep, I sure do love hiking!

Out of the Mouth of Babes

2010-09-02T08:45:00.000-07:00

If I do not buckle my seatbelt in the car it makes a dinging noise. If Miquelyn hears that she tells me to buckle. The other day she saw that Grant was not buckled and said, "buckle Dadda, Buckle." He looked at me and asked if she really just said that. Yep she sure did, our daughter the buckle police.

Last week the kids all got in trouble for wandering around the house with food. I sat them all on the couch and explained why they were in trouble (calmly mind you.) Then I sent them off to clean their rooms. I was down in the girls room organizing clothes and working along side James when she said, "Mom I still love you even though I am in trouble." I told her I loved her too, no matter what even if she was in trouble. I asked her if she knew that. She said, "No, I just thought if I was in trouble you did not love me." AH, break my heart...I sat her down and explained to her that no matter what I always loved her the most. She seemed happy, gave me a big hug and went on her way.

The other day Asher was wanting me to zip up his hoodie but I was trying to get Isaac to sleep. I told him he would just have to wait until I got him to sleep. A few minutes later Isaac was alseep but I told Asher to just wait because I was enjoying Isaac. He told me that is not how people do it. I told him that was how I was going to do it. He then said, "That is not how you do it. When a kid asks for something the mom does it." Needless to say he got his hoodie zipped.

Special

2010-08-31T20:32:00.000-07:00

Grant got to do something very special (to him and me) for the second time this year. He was able to be the partner and coach golfing for my good buddy Scott in the New Mexico Special Olympics. I grew up with Scott and feel like he is a part of our family. Scott used to stroke my hair, tell me how beautiful I was, and say he was going to marry me. He kinda liked me, but now...now I am peanuts compared to Grant. He LOVES Grant! And Grant loves him. The other week I was asking Grant what he liked to do, and his first response was, "I like to golf with Scott." This has been something that was, and is, so good for his soul. It is important to him to be able to share this time with him. I think a part of him feels connected to our sweet William&Mary that live so (too) far away. I know he wishes he could be there to participate with them, so really Scott is giving Grant a gift by allowing him to be a partner. It really has been a blessing for many reasons.

This year Grant and Scott did fantastic and won a gold medal. Yep, Grant got a medal too. Now he has two and a future of many more. They are so cute together, and I love having this time to reconnect with Scott. It really is something Special!

"You have your hands full"

2010-08-25T11:24:00.001-07:00

"You have your hands full" is one of my most heard comments when I am out with the kids. The other one is a question: "Are they all yours?" When we go to the store we all hold hands until we are out of the parking lot, so this is usually how we look (even though the picture was taken when we were camping, it is still us any given day of the week.) I usually respond cheery and happy and say yes I do but for the most part it is fun. It never ceases to amaze how many people are blown away but our numbers, coming from a family of 8 kids I feel like we are just average in numbers. Though when it gets loud at home I feel like we had a few too many. I have to admit, in my mind, it is positive attention and I kinda like it because I think we have a cute little (big) family.

Side Note:

When we had two kids a boy and a girl everyone said, "Well now you have both are you done." After three they would say, "Three is a good number, is that all you are going to have?" After four it was, "Goodness, are you done?" Now that we have five people ask, "So how many more do you want?" Seriously don"t those questions seem to be in reverse?

Many Faces

2010-08-20T13:00:00.000-07:00

This kid has many faces. Often he looks concerned or scared.

He can be a little flirt too.

I even caught him sneezing.

But my favorite is his smile.

He melts my heart...I am in love!

Another give away

2010-08-19T12:48:00.001-07:00

My sister is back at it again. She is having another give away at Scary_Cute. Growing up I was always the artsy fartsy one creating things and drawing. Now Chelsey is the one with the eye and the talent and I just like to build things and put things together...who would have thought?

Never would have imagined

2010-08-18T11:00:00.000-07:00

I never would have imagined that I would be saying this, but I am a PROUD (yes I said proud) new owner of a treadmill. I always thought I hated them, but when running early got too hard, this was my solution and so far I LOVE IT! I have only had it for 5 days and have used it 3 times (one day was Sunday and the other we were camping.) Here is to trying something that I thought I did not like and discovering I was wrong!

And they are off

2010-08-16T13:17:00.001-07:00

Friday was Caleb's first day of school. Grant went and woke him up and he was so excited. When he wlaked up stairs he all of the sudden looked so grown up. So when exactly did that happen? I took him to school and he was loving every minute of it. He has been waiting for this for a long time. He practically ran to his classroom.

After school he rode the bus home. At first he was telling me that he wanted to do it all by himself. When he was in line to go on a tour of the school (and before he got back I would leave) I asked him one more time if he wanted to do it by himself or if he wanted me to come help. He said he wanted me. I have to admit a big part of me was glad he is still a little dependant (though not much.)

He did great and loved it. He was ready to go again Monday morning. James got to go this time to.

I think she may have been more excited about wearing her new sweater than school, but she was still excited about school. She was a little shy when I dropped her off, but she did not cry. She did great.

I have to say it was very odd to leave to kids at school. I went to the store, and it felt weird to only have 3 with me. For awhile Isaac and Mique were napping so it was just Asher and I. It seems empty, but they are off and I will not hold them back.

(Might I add, I have been so excited for Caleb because he has been ready for this for literally years. It was so much easier for him than James, but when I left the school without him I felt my throat tighten a little, I have heard it does not get easier with each kid, but now I have experienced it.)

Shut doors

2010-08-05T15:21:00.000-07:00

I am always telling the kids the doors are not allowed to be shut, that is the rule. I do not want kids being shut out or left out, I want to know what is going on just by walking past. It is less danger of fingers getting slammed, and it is simply a rule I enforce. Though, there is one exception to this rule. When I put the girls to bed their door HAS to be shut. For one reason: if it is not Mique will come up in the middle of the night and repeat "I want up" over and over until she burrows her way into our bed (usually while I am feeding Isaac, so there are two kids too many.) Last night we experienced other reasons why. After Grant got home from Young Men's he went down to talk to the girls (and boys) since they were not asleep. He apparently does not know the drill and left the door open. When I went down to tuck them in before I went to bed I found Mique with a brand new package of rubber bands (the tiny ouchless kind from walmart) 6 colors at least a hundred of each, probably more like 150 of each color spread all over the bed and floor. I checked her wrists (she has been known to put them on there) and picked up as many as I could. She also had the toothpaste in there, a stacking cup smeared with toothpaste all on the inside. She had it all over her hands and face and of coarse the bedspread that I just washed 5 days ago. Each one of these is reason alone to shut the door, but all combined about put me over the edge. She may look sweet, but you can definitely see the mischief in her eyes.

I am hoping some day we make amends and this little girl does not do me in (she is very, VERY close.) For now I will follow behind her cleaning up messes and always, ALWAYS shut the door at night!

Haaampp

2010-08-03T16:17:00.000-07:00

It took me awhile to figure out what haaampp meant, but now it is a word as any other, at least in our family. It is food in the tongue of Miquelyn. This is how she tells me she wants food. If she wants a bite of my food she sits really close to me repeating haaampp over and over again. She now says I want haaampp. Last night it went to a new level. She was saying dinner prayer (which is mostly mumbo jumbo to us) but there are a few words she says well. She says Heavenly Father, help me, thank you, Jesus Christ and a few others. When I prompted her to say thank you for the food she said an audible thank you then haaampp. It took all I had not to burst out laughing. Then it came out again when she said bless the food. I want to try and get it on video because it is so funny to me, and only fully appreciated when heard. It is amazing to me that I can even speak Miquelyn language, but occasionally I can.

Odds against me

2010-07-29T06:56:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to work out for about a month and a half. I really want to get rid of the baby weight. (Okay so the baby weight is probably gone and now I am working on the ice cream weight.) Either way, I have been trying to do something about it, but it seems like someone out there does not want me to fit back into my clothes (which by the way stinks to have a closet full of clothes, and yet nothing to fit/wear.) Shortly after I started I got a clogged duct that knocked me down for a few days and put me on an antibiotic for the second time since Isaac was born. I got feeling better and went to Durango with my family. I took all my running clothes to Durango so I could do a few short runs, then forgot my shoes, nice huh! I got another week and a half or so of workouts in before I came down with another round of strep throat. Back on antibiotics for the third time in two months and down and out for another little bit. I got back on a better schedule working out last week. I was feeling really good this week....then Tuesday happened.

I was riding my bike on a trainer indoors. I was having a good ride with only 5 minutes left and on my last interval. I was standing up for a minute long and was in the middle of that when Asher came in to talk to me. I was paying more attention to him than my riding and before I knew it I was falling. I was clipped in to the pedals, and my clips are too tight so I could not get me feet out. I threw my arm out to cushion the fall (bad idea) and hyper extended my elbow. I was in a fair amount of pain, and still clipped into my bike. I was laying on the ground trying to get the pain under control and get unclipped and out of the awkward position. I eventually did it.

But now my elbow is sore, swollen and left me unable to do most of my workouts....seriously, losing weight is not a bad thing, so why are the odds so against me? I am sure I looked hilarious to Asher as I fell and lay on the ground, and I am now laughing at what a nerd I am. Maybe someday I will be able to take care of myself and get back to it.

Redifing Me

2010-07-21T10:00:00.000-07:00

I have made it very clear that Isaac is our last child, and I feel very comfortable with that. Knowing that he was our last helped get me through the pregnancy and especially through another natural delivery. But, as my friends have been having their little babies and I hear of other friends announcing their pregnancies I feel something indescribable. I have been trying to decipher what is going on, and this is what I think:

I do not like being pregnant, that is not a secret. We have no problem getting pregnant, and I have probably close to the easiest pregnancies, but I do not enjoy them. I do not look at pregnant women and feel envious, I am so glad it is not me. That said, nearly half of the last eight years I have been pregnant. It had become who I was. Our life was planned around our pregnancies and when the next little one would come to our family.

The other half of those eight years has been spent nursing, and I have another nine months or so to go. Either I am carrying a little baby inside me, or carrying one attached to me. That has become my way of life, it is what I know. That life pre kiddos seems and feels like a different Brittani.

Do not get me wrong, I do not desire to remain in this state and Grant is not shy about "tapping out." I am excited to move towards the diaperless stage. It is a relief to know I only have 2 more to potty train. I look forward to the option of sleeping through the night. I will get to still hold babies, but give them back when they cry. I will get to be an aunt again.

So why is it so weird for me to say I am done. I think it is because this baby stage is so familiar and comfortable. The five kids have come to us in just under seven years, so we have constantly been in baby stage. This next stage, though exciting, is unknown. It is a change.

Though change often scares me, it does not keep me from it. I suppose these strange feelings are not necessarily knowing how to define myself now that it is not about having another kid. It is about being mom to the ones that are growing up. Part of me is sad that they are getting so big, and time only speeds up.

I am not sure how to cope with this new stage and the unknown nature of it, but I am sure I will figure it out. I am pretty confident that I am not the first woman to go through this and have these emotions. I get to redefine myself, that will be an adventure!

FHE

2010-07-20T07:11:00.000-07:00

The kids and I have been clashing a lot lately when it comes to cleaning up. I tell them to do and check in on them periodically. I give them time limits and warnings and try to be patient. I tell them where to clean first and give them direction. I come down for the final inspection and things are NOT done. I want to go ballistic. I feel very conflicted because I am trying to not let them watch very much TV, but as a result toy bombs go off all over the house. If I let them watch TV the house would stay clean, but then they would be watching a lot of TV. So toy bombs it is, but after weeks of fighting about the cleaning I am wearing thin. So yesterday after finding the mess untouched, I wanted to scream and yell and throw all toys away, but came up with a different plan instead. For FHE I explained to the monkeys that there are kids out there that do not have a mom and dad and because of that do not have toys. Some of these kids stay in a place called Child Haven. We decided to go through their toys and books and pick out ones they do not play with or have a lot of extra and give those to Child Haven. Grant and I got to pick the ones we wanted them to keep that we thought were good for their learning and development. The kids got to tell us their favorites, and after that we all made suggestions and compiled a box of toys to give to others, a box of damaged things to throw away, and ended with a clean play room and a happier mom. The kids did great and were excited to be able to give to others. It was a good lesson for us all!

Run Out

2010-07-14T19:07:00.000-07:00

Last Wednesday Grant and I went to Colorado to celebrate our 1oth anniversary. It was wonderful and I loved the time with just Grant (and Isaac). On Sunday I was excited to see the other kids and love on them. I felt rejuvenated and as if I had a new supply of patience. Well after four short days, that new supply has run out. I did good all day, but after dinner when things were still not clean, kids were goofing around and not obeying for the umtenth time, I lost it. There was yelling, spanking, crying, throwing away of toys (mostly broken ones, but the kids do not need to know that) and finally obedience and a somewhat picked up house. I wish there was an easier way to motivate...or maybe more appropriately, I wish I was a better more patient mom in my motivation, but here we are...

Helping hands

2010-07-02T16:37:00.000-07:00

Today I was having the kids clean up their messes...a daily chore. When I came out of the bathroom I found a sweet little situation. Jamison and Caleb had unloaded the dishwasher, without me even asking, so sweet! The one little problem was that it was a very full dishwasher, but it was not clean. We ended up loading it back up and putting every single utensil in because we were not able to distinguish which ones were dirty or clean. Thank goodness it is the thought that counts!

Bird nest

2010-06-26T12:58:00.000-07:00

This is how she starts out the day....EVERY day

Amy help :-) we need hair help bad!

My boys

2010-06-24T12:59:00.000-07:00

The boys crack me me. Here are two snippets of what they are like.

Caleb:
He has been very interested in the priesthood lately. He is trying to figure it all out and cannot wait til he has it. On Sunday Grant and him were talking and he kept calling it the "Moronic " priesthood. Grant worked with him for hours, and he still could not get it straight. Bless his heart, he is trying so hard and so sincere...but according to him that is what it is.

Asher:
The other day he kept talking about growing up and when he grew up he was going to be a dad. I finally asked him why he wanted to grow up so bad. The conversation went as follows:

A: Because I want to
Me: Well stop trying to grow up so quick
A: Why
Me: Because I do not want you to
A: Why not?
Me: Because when you grow up and you are a dad you will not live with me anymore
A: Yeah I will
Me: I hope not
A: Yeah, I will still live with you

Funny funny kids. I love these little moments!

Lesson Learned (the hard way)

2010-06-21T10:52:00.000-07:00

I am not proud (but not too ashamed) to admit that I have let the TV babysit my kids a little with the new baby and all. I taught the older two to turn it on and change it to 173 (playhouse Disney)...it is really the only thing I let them watch. It has worked out nicely and had let me get a few naps for the first couple of weeks. Well....i got my bill from dish and it was larger than usual so I examined it. There were a few VOD's (video on demands) charged, and Grant and I never order those. I called dish to find out if my kids accidentally had ordered them. Sure enough Valentines and Nine were ordered with the remote (note you have to approve it twice before you can view it and one was ordered 2 hours after the other). I was told nothing could be done because they were already ordered. I also noticed that there were a couple extra charges for the next bill and asked about those. The Conversation went something like the following:

Me: can you tell me what the charges are for next month
Rep: it looks like those were PPV (pay per view) that were also ordered
Me: What is the difference between VOD and PPV
Rep: both are movies that have to be ordered, just a different channel
Me: Is there anything that can be done about that?
Rep: unfortunately no because it was a valid order by remote
Me: Can you tell me what was ordered?
Rep: it looks like it was an adult movie
Me: what do you mean adult?
Rep: Umm adult content (said a little hesitantly)
Me: WHATTTTTT???????
Rep: yep
Me: can you tell me what time that was ordered
Rep I cannot tell you exactly, but it looks like it was about 10 am
Me: Yep that was my kids, nice.

He did help me lock the channels so it cannot be done again without the pass code, but almost $30 later I learned that letting the TV babysit might provide a way for inappropriate things to be ordered (going from Disney to that, not wasting time are we.)....sweet Brittani another shining mom moment!

Family Picutres

2010-06-16T10:43:00.000-07:00

Isaac was three weeks old and we were still yet to take a family pic, so I decided it needed to be done. What I did not know is what a process it would be. First no one wanted to cooperate and stand nice by the front door. Then we move to the bench but not everyone is ready, eyes are closed, tongue are sticking out, heads are turned the wrong way and kids are protesting saying no.

We get a couple ready and then the trouble maker tries to escape, and is promptly scolded.

We eventually just give up and decide to make a funny face picture instead.

Finally a decent picture of the crew. It is funny how adding one makes our family not seem so little anymore. Better luck next time anyhow.

Blessing Day

2010-06-14T13:18:00.000-07:00

On June 6, 2010 Grant Blessed Isaac at church. It was a very powerful blessing. I was worried Isaac would be fussy because I only half-way fed him, but he was an angel and did great. Grant managed to make it through all our kids blessings without one crying and without the bounce. I want to write down with what he was blessed before I forget or lose my notes.

To Isaac:

You have come to this world in a special time. You have been blessed with a special name, you are named after a prophet and need to understand the name you have. You need to learn obedience and seek to do the will of the Father. You are also named after your great-grandfather, who was righteous and furthered the kingdom of God. You and your father share a special bond with your name. You have many people to look up to. You need to follow their example and be an example yourself. You must recognize your capacity and opportunity to bless the lives around you. You have a special title, "Son of the most high," seek to understand God and what it means. Seek to know Him and understand his will. You are blessed that your body will grow and be healthy and that your intellect will be sharp. You are blessed with a desire to learn and a desire to serve and through that be blessed. Heavenly Father and your parents love you. Come to know and recognize this love and return it. You will bless the lives of your family, which you already have.

We are proud to be your parents and so glad to have you in our family. We love you sweet baby Isaac.

Why is it...

2010-06-11T23:00:00.000-07:00

Why is it when my husband leaves I have such a range of emotions that flood my body. He headed out to go camping with his brother and kept telling me not to be mad at him. I reassured him I was sad, but not mad. As we all stood at the door waving goodbye I felt sad (sad that I my husband was leaving me for the weekend and I was once again alone and sleeping alone is not my favorite), worried (that he would be safe even though he has all the equipment he could need and a gun strapped to his hip), relieved (only because I do not have to cook a real dinner), jealous (that he can pick up and leave without having to worry to much about the kids and very jealous that he can have a fun adventure while I am teathered to home and five kids), excited (maybe I will watch a few movies that I would not make Grant watch and paint my fingernails), but mostly a tad bit lonely (I wonder if he ever feels that way when he leaves.) As we walked in the door amidst thunder and lightening a felt a little tugging at my throat and felt like crying (hormones and lack of sleep is what I will blame it on) but I kept it together and back to reality and making sure the troops are fed. What can I say I love my husband and miss him terribly when he is gone.

I do not want to forget

2010-06-11T16:22:00.001-07:00

I do not want to forget how my little monkey gets into his frog position and snuggles up to me. As soon as he is on my chest he pulls his little legs up and snuggles in. And usually shortly after he assumes his position he crashed out and gives me some of the best loves a mom could ask to have.

I had so hoped that Isaac would be a cuddle bug and give me loves (esp because he is our last and Mique was quite the opposite.) He gives me what I wanted every day and several times a day.

I never want to forget what it feels like to snuggle into a newborn little one. The feeling of contentment that it brings. I love these little ones, and am enjoying every snuggle moment of my little baby Isaac!

Mother of 10...for a day

2010-06-10T17:21:00.000-07:00

I was a mother (watcher) of ten kids today ranging from 12 to 1 month. My five made up half the tribe, Harley was with us because her mom was helping with scout camp and then we got to have the 4 oldest Graff kids come and play. The great thing about ten kids is that they entertain each other. By the end of the day the floor badly needed swept and mopped, rooms needed cleaned and toys put away, but it was a fantastic day.

The kiddos planned and threw a little party and watched a little tv. They played dress-up, bubbles, games, the computer and school. We had a variety of food for lunch consisting of mac-n-cheese, raman noodles, hot dogs, tater tots, chicken nuggets and root beer (hey I do not care there was nothing healthy about it, they all ate!) There was a lot of snacking too!

After Shandon and I hung out, watched videos of his silly aunt and his pictures we decided to go to the park. I took the first load of kids, left Shandon there to watch them while I came back and got the second load of kids. Apparently I need a 15 passenger van. We played at the park for a bit before I needed to take the Graff kids home so they could get ready to go out of town.

The kids had a blast and did so well together. Ten kids for a day was a lot of fun and actually pretty easy. I am just glad I do not have to do laundry for ten, I will just play with them and then send half of them home. Here's too good kids and good times!

Lucky Girl

2010-06-08T08:10:00.000-07:00

There are so many reasons I am a lucky girl it would be impossible to list them, so I will focus on one today. This weekend we were blessing Isaac at church, so my mother and father-in-law were able to come. I am so lucky because I have fantastic in-laws and love them so much! It was so fun to have them here. It was fun to watch how excited the kids were to see them and how much they loved being with them. It was fun (and exhausting) staying up until all hours of the night (1:30 am...that is late for me right now) talking and enjoying each other's company. It was great to be able to hug them, enjoy meals with them, and laugh with them. We had good conversations and just enjoyed. I lucked out getting such great in-laws (I guess that comes with such a great husband) and had a hard time letting go. We do not get to see them enough, so we took advantage of our time this weekend. Here is to being a lucky daughter-in-law!

10 Years Today

2010-06-03T16:48:00.000-07:00

10 Years ago today I married the greatest man I have ever known in the Mt Timp temple. It was one of the funnest day I can recall (despite the three shades of green Grant was before we entered the celestial room together.) A description of that day will be saved for another time. It has been a wild ride the last ten years, and often the first part of it seems and feels like another life. Both lives have been good, just so different. We have had some great accomplishments and adventures in the last ten years:

Jamison

Caleb

Asher

Miquelyn

Isaac

A Bachelors in finance

A Masters in Social Work

Moving into and out of 8 different houses

Establishing a career

Not working for money for the first time in 20 years

Travels to a few different countries

Many nights staying home

Said goodbye to too many good friends

Made great new friends along the way

so many memories it is difficult to list.

It has been a wild ride. We have had experiences that have tested our faith in the Lord and in each other. Though we have felt heartbreak and shed many tears, the good moments are the ones that come to mind first. All things combined have helped us become the couple that we are and made us so much stronger. We are better as a result of all our experiences. I would not want to have shared them with anyone else. I love this man more than myself or anyone else. Thank you Grant for making my life the best ever and choosing to be with me for ever and ever...and ever!

Give Away

2010-06-02T09:57:00.000-07:00

Chelsey has become the artsy fartsy one of the family and really makes wonderful creations. Her latest creation are these fun beautiful flowers for the hair. She taught me how to make them and I started out the first day making about ten different colors. She is always expanding her creativity and trying new things. She even has a little place in etsy to sell her creations. She has a blog and to get her name out there is doing a give-away, so if you want a chance at it go check her out, it is totally worth it. She can be found at http://scarycutecreations.blogspot.com/. Good luck, hope you win!

Letting go...just a little bit

2010-05-21T13:40:00.000-07:00

This story starts several months ago when I asked Jamison what she wanted for her birthday. She responded without hesitation saying she wanted her ears pierced. I was not sure how Grant was going to react, so I decided to have Jamison tell him. He still thought I was trying to convince her, even though it was purely her idea. I waited about a month and brought it up again. He was not so sure about it. I told him I needed to know if he was not going to be okay with it so I had time to talk her out of it. He needed more time, so I gave it to him.

A few weeks before her birthday I asked Grant again and he said he did not know. I asked what his hang up was and he said he did not know. I asked him if it was because it meant his little girl was growing up...he thought for a second and said yeah, he thought that is what it was. He made sure that is what she wanted and gave his consent.

He originally did not want to have anything to with the actual act, but when I told him I planned to do it while he was gone for Father and Son camp out his tune changed. We altered the plans and did it all together on his way out of town. We met at the mall and all walked in together. It was a party with all the kids, Mammy, Harley and Jaycee. As we walked through the mall Grant let out a big nervous sigh, he was having a hard time (and I have to admit I had a moment thinking I cannot believe we are going to put holes in our daughter's head.) He held her hand all the way to the store relishing that time with her.

When we got to the store I stepped back and Grant sat with her and helped her pick the earrings she wanted. They brought out the stool and he crouched next to her holding her hand the whole time. It was so sweet and cool to watch this little father daughter bonding experience. She did wonderful and I think having Dad there helped.

Afterwards he just kept looking at her telling her how pretty she was. She just beamed...and I think he did too. As we were walking to the car he said, "is it just me or did she grow a couple of inches when they put those earrings in her ear." He is a best Dad ever and even though he had to let his girl grow up a little bit, he did it with grace and full participation. Such a good memory for me!

Single Moms

2010-05-20T18:32:00.000-07:00

My heart goes out to and my hat comes off to all single moms out there. I have always said nothing better ever happen to Grant because I would be a terrible single parent...yet I find my self in that mode more often than I would like. I am exhausted by the end of the day, and I have not even gone to work out side of the home. How those women do it, cook dinner, clean and do laundry amazes me. Now how they do it when they are sick is beyond me! Here I am at 7:35 with no hope of Grant coming home soon, a 9 day old baby, four other kids 7 and under and strep throat (with aches, chills and difficulty swallowing)...and putting the kids to bed is draining me. It makes me marvel at what those women do...at least I know my hubby will eventually come home and try to baby me as well as he knows how (or as well as I let him.)

Isaac's Arrival

2010-05-17T09:19:00.000-07:00

Isaac's labor could not have gone better. Monday night I was having pretty strong contractions, they actually hurt, but would not get closer than about 10 minutes apart. I could sleep a little between contractions, but I was exhausted by morning. I had an appointment with Dr Chang at 9:30, and Grant wanted to go with me (he wanted to make sure I actually talked to the Dr.) When he checked me I was only a 2, maybe 3...but he said that could mean anytime for me. I said that is what worried me. (The closer the time came, the more nervous I became about being a good judge as to when to go to the hospital. I was so worried I would not make it in time.) He said he could induce me that day or the next, it did not matter to him. I opted to go to the hospital that day (I even had my bag in the car hoping he would let me.) After talking for a minute he said he was not even going to see if there was room, he was just going to send me over...so off we were.

We got to the hospital about 10:30 or so, and was checked in by 11:00. The Dr came at 12:00 to break my water, which we discovered he really did not have any fluid. Chang said it was a good thing we went in that day for that reason. The nurse was cracking us up, she did not want to deliver the baby, "that is the Dr's thing," she said. She had everything ready before I really got going. She kept saying that I went quick and she did not trust me, I told her I did not trust myself either, that is why we were there.

About 1:00 she checked me and I was almost a 7. I told her from that point on I went quick. She went straight out to call the Dr, who was still in the hospital thank goodness. He came up and prepped immediately. Less than 20 minutes after getting checked and about three contractions of pushing Isaac was out and screaming. It was a super smooth delivery and I was so glad to be done. I have to admit the thought of the pain scared me, but once it was over I was singing praises to an all natural delivery...they rock on the other side of it.

I cannot leave out the fact that Grant is the best coach ever! He knows just how to get me to relax, what to say and how to make me feel good. I just beam when he tells me that he is proud of me. He makes the experience so much better. I could not love that man anymore...at least I do not think. He is AMAZING!

I have been spoiling Isaac and holding him as much as I can. Who cares if the house is not up to my normal standard. I am getting to love, snuggle and enjoy my little baby, and I am taking advantage of every moment!

The night Isaac was born I lay in my bed with Isaac curled up on my side. I was looking at Grant (my gorgeous husband) laying on his chair/bed. He put on two songs (wonderful world and home) and I felt so content and happy. Even though life as a mother of five 7 and under is crazy I feel so content and happy. Life is wonderful!