I was thinking today why is it so hard for people to find "happily ever after"...then mid thought I corrected myself and thought why is it so hard for people to make happily ever after. This was all triggered a couple of night ago when our neighbor (who is our favorite neighbor ever) came over to chat (as he often does) and in the course of conversation mentioned he and his wife were getting divorced. It made me so sad, even though he kept reassuring us that he was okay. They have been married 20 years and have a 19 year old son. He told me they even went to the movie together last week for the first time in years. I asked him some questions and he said several things that were very sad to me. He said that they just grew apart...that just happens. He said that he is a loner. He does not want to look back on his life in ten years and think what am I doing and why did I not get out of this sooner. He said in order to really be happy he needs to be alone. He wants to be able to do what he wants when he wants, without ever having to consult someone else.
It made me think about Grant and I. I want to go places...lots of places, but I always want it to be by his side. I am not a loner, I am not complete without Grant. I want to look back in ten years and have a multitude of amazing memories (I already have ten years worth of incredible memories and want many, many more.) I have to admit there have been times in our marriage where we have let go of each other a little, and when we did grow apart things did not feel right, they were not our best times. As soon as we realized it we made changes, pulled it together and found each other. Things feel like it should be when we stay close and work (keyword work) to not grow apart. My true happiness is when I am with my family, especially Grant! I would imagine without him it would be true despair.
This may sound very idealistic, but it is so true to me. Does that mean it is easy, no way. Do we have to work every day for it...absolutely. I work hard for our relationship, as hard as I know how. It is eternal and I try to treat it that way every day of my life. A huge part of why I love the gospel so much is the eternal nature of our family and the unmatchable joy I receive as a result of these relationships. I am glad I have the knowledge I do to help me through the rough patches and see the blessings of working it out!
Though I am sad for my neighbor, and those out there that just let it go, I am so happy for my family and for the opportunity and ability to work on and make my happily ever after!
7 comments:
I love this thought, Brittani. Thank you for sharing this. With just 3 years under my belt, I feel so strongly about this idea also. We work on our marriage because we love it - and when the going gets tough (we've had our days lately with all the changes going on in our lives), we work on it again - and it's actually really FUN to work on! :)
Do you mind if I link to/share your thoughts on my blog as well?
Lovely post Brittani. And so so true- no marriage is easy, but every marriage is worth it.
Thank you for sharing Brit. It is so true, it is probably the hardest thing we will do in this life next to being a parent but in the end it is going to worth it. Oh and what a beautiful bride you were!
Thanks for offering the curtains! If you were just planning on getting rid of them, I would love to take a look. Talon has been kind of goofy about curtains since we will have nicer blinds, but I am sure he couldn't protest if they were free. :)
Are you excited for the race yet!? Can't wait to see you guys this weekend!
P.s. Funny story (kind of): The other day when your parents were here, we were looking for the bag of maternity clothes that didn't fit me to give back to them (you're tiny by the way!). We couldn't find it anywhere and I told Talon they were in a brown paper bag. He gave me this white-as-a-sheet look and said "I think I took them to D.I." I was like "WHAT!?" We looked EVERYWHERE and no luck. I was PANICKING. Turns out I had placed them in the corner of our extra bedroom, and when we found them I remembered that I was worried he'd take them to D.I. so I hid them. :) Phew. My goodness, it gave us a run for our money though!
(sorry for writing a book)
What a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing it and thank you even more for being you! I know I've said it before but feel it is worth repeating, you are our blessing and a true daughter-in-love!
Brittani Cameron and i have had several situations latly where this exact issue has come up. What would we do with out each other. I couldn't imagine my life with out him. Things are hard sometimes but we find that every year we learn more about how to help serve and understand each other. I agree sometimes it dosen't seem realistic in today's age to want to be with your spouse constantly but for me it is so true thats where I find my happiness. Another thing that shocks Cam and I is how much people keep from their spouse. I couldn't imagine. Maybe thats why it doesn't work out. thanks for the post. It's a thinker
What a nice romantic post! Better than any fairy tale--and I love the wedding pics! Grant looks so YOUNG!!! You of course, look exactly the same--absolutely amazing :-)
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