Love Hate Relationship

There was this commercial on television a couple of years ago. I believe it was a Nike commercial and it was all about the love hate relationship people have with running. At the time Britney and I were running together in the mornings and both totally identified with that commercial. I have a love hate relationship with running. I hate waking up early to run. I hate that feeling when I am tying the laces on my shoes and I am still talking myself into running. I hate how my body feels when I start. But.....I love how I feel when it is done (usually.) I love that I am being active. I love accomplishing a goal. I love how I feel when I am kicking my shoes off and know I did it. I love finishing a race, and love knowing I put in the hard work for it! In March I ran my 3rd Moab Half Marathon. Just weeks before my world crashed down on me and effected my body's ability to run. I ran my slowest time ever...and was frustrated! I kept telling myself I should be proud that I even ran (and I did run every last step with my body screaming at me and shutting down.) But, it was hard, I was upset and even shed a few tears. That race was not on the love list.

So, I decided to pick myself back up and prove to myself that I could overcome it and do better. I signed up for a race in American Fork in July. I trained and was really hoping (feeling like I needed a lot of hope) to beat my best time and pr. It was the most beautiful run ever! I felt great. I pushed myself, and I beat my best time by nine minutes. I DID IT! I admit I was very proud of myself. I was alone (probably a good thing because I was holding back a few tears-and anyone that knows me I am big on crying!) This is why I love running. It is something I do for myself. It gives me a goal, and most definitely a reward.

But now that I am starting up again after a two weeks respite, I am reevaluating this love hate thing we have going!