Monday, September 22, 2008

I am such a worse parent than I thought I was

My day started out quite well, but it has only gone down hill from there. Today is Asher's and Chelsey's birthday so the girls went out to lunch for Chelsey. Asher was so crabby he cried and screamed at everything. He was also throwing his fork and spoon all over the place. At first I tried to be extra patient with him because it is his birthday, but we quickly got beyond that. I had to take him out 2 or 3 times and eventually had to take him out to the car and wait for everyone else to be done to bring Caleb to me. We are struggling with finding a balance with naps, and today proved to be a monumental struggle/failure. After Jamison got home from school the Relief Society President came to visit. Jamison kept interupting us and trying to tell a story, but never finishing a sentence...very irritating. Once again I was trying to be patient. During all of this Caleb kept making Asher scream. I asked him countless times to cut it out, but to no avail. I finally got sick of hearing it and had to practically chase Caleb to his room because he would not go when he was told. Caleb has developed an attitude as of late, and I have to admit I do not like it. After the Releif Society President left I started talking to Jamison about school.

I need to back up a little for this. In Kindergarten they use a color system. You start out as green and if you get in trouble your color is changed to yellow. If you still get in trouble it changes to red and your parent's get called. Kindergarten has been a very difficult transition for Jamison, but two weeks ago she seemed to be comfortable and doing fine. Last Monday I picked her up from school and she told me that she got in trouble for stealing. I had parent teacher conference that day and sure enough my little angel (devil) got caught stealing crayons and buttons. She talked to the teacher and apologized, but her color did not change. We had a long chat with her at home and she promised to be better. I also found out that she has been sucking her thumb almost all day at school (big no-no.) I told the teacher she definately could tell her to take it out! I was a little stressed at this point. The next day she came home and told me she got her color changed to yellow because she poked a boy in the eye. Once again another talk and she said she would be better. Then the next day came with another yellow. This time she spit in the classroom. I could not believe she did that, she always gets in trouble for spitting at home. At this point I am furious and at a loss. Anyone that knows Jamison knows that there are not barganing chips. Nothing matters to her enough to be a punishment. What do I do??? Well Jamison and I talked about it and we decided that she lost all her dolls, doll clothes, barbies, dress-up clothes and purses and when she got a green she could earn them back one at a time. On friday she earned back a doll, but lost it again by Saturday for poor behavior. What am I to do.

Today I asked her if she stayed green and she told mee yes. WELL...when I looked at her folder she was yellow, in trouble for the fourth time in one week. I still am not sure exactly what she did to get in trouble. She eventually told me that she got her color changed because she touched a boy on the leg when she was not supposed to. I need to talk to the teacher and find out what really happened. I am so frustrated I do not know what to do. I thought that I was doing a better job of teaching my kids...obviously not. I thought they knew how to behave better...another obviously not. I have no clue what is going on with our family, but I do know that I do not like it. I do not know if it is partially a lack of sleep or pure frustration, but after talking to Jamison and not being able to get a hold of Grant I almost lost it and broke into tears. I know there is not manual to parenting kids, but right now I could really use one because I feel like I am failing miserably!

4 comments:

Chanel said...

Everyone has those frustrating days. In a couple weeks you will crack up at your blog, I did. The things to remember are: every child has their own personality, Every kid will try to push the boundaries, every kid likes to experiment with parents reactions, every kid will try to figure out how clever their parents are and if they can outwit them. Just keep a clam head (easier said than done) and reinforce that mom and dad have a special way of always finding out, maybe not right away, but it will happen. Pretty soon you will be able to read them pretty well, and they will believe it. At least until they are teenagers- who know what I am in for. They are typical kids, which make you a great parent. You want your kids to be normal, not molded into the Stepford kids. As their personalities develop remember that they have them for a reason, and they will benefit them. Try to find the positives in their assertiveness or confidence, and then focus on that. Since it is a natural personality trait, they will realize they can develop that and get attention that feels better than developing the natural trait that receive negative attention. You are the best though, no worries. All of us realize at some point that we have SOOOOO much to learn. No kid is perfect, nor is any parent perfect. As long as our kids know we love them and that we try, as long as we apologize for our mistakes and honestly try to correct them, as long as we forgive our kids and believe in them I have to believe that it will all work out in the end!

Kimberly said...

You're definately not alone. Sometimes it seems like, at our house, they are all piting against me. And yet I'm always the one they want when they're upset which tells me I must be doing something right. Eventhough I yell and make them mad I'm still the favorite. As I know you are too. This too shall pass...

Amy said...

It is nice to know that my 5 year old isn't the only one that lies and steals! lol! I laugh, although it isn't funny. You need to go to this link, it will put a smile on your face.
http://thedriggsfam.blogspot.com/2008/09/does-this-sound-familiar-to-anyone.html

SuSu said...

Two things and probably more but I will just mention two.
1. You are the best parent because you care.
2. Time, it has a way of healing us all.