Sad Day

Yesterday was a very sad day for our family. Athena went in to surgery to get a biopsy of her intestines to try and see what was going on. All tests pointed to no kidney or liver problems. Though, she still had diarrhea and increased difficulty eating. She had lost over 10 pounds in a matter or weeks. I was thinking of her being in surgery when I got a call from the vet. She was in the middle of surgery when she discovered a very large mass. She went to remove it, then discovered many other masses. Her cancer was so bad it, the vet said it was best to just put here to sleep then. I said we wanted to do what was best for Athena, so she was peacefully put to sleep amid surgery. I texted Grant (he was in a meeting and could not talk.) Caleb kept asking who called, but I wanted to tell Grant before anyone else. I held it together for about 5 minutes (yep that is all) and then the tears flowed...and did they flow! I never would have thought I would have been so upset about the loss of our dog, but I was. I felt bad that we did not really get to say goodbye. We thought she was going to come home. I did not get that last picture...I tried the night before, but the kids moved and I thought, "I will get it when she comes home." Grant did not get to see her before I took her to the vet, I felt terrible for him. I was worried about how the kids would feel. I cried buckets yesterday. I was sad that I would never see her again...I did not get to kiss her one last time. The last look she gave me was those sad puppy dog eyes. Grant (the greatest man ever) brought me beautiful flowers to remind me of our dog. We told the boys, Caleb cried and asked a lot of questions. Asher did not get it, I still do not think he does. He talks about giving things to Athena when she comes back. I told Jamison when she got home. She wailed, such sad cries! She kept saying she just wanted Athena. We looked at pictures of her and printed one of for her to carry with her. She took it to school today. Grant went to the vet to settle everything. He got to see her one last time. He touched her and kissed her, and reality hit. Our sweet dog was gone. We will never see her again, at least not in this life. She was about as good as a dog as they come, and I feel bad I did not always give her that credit. Her stuff is still around, I am not ready to pack it up yet. I have to say I am glad she is no longer suffering. It got bad, really bad at the end and we felt terrible for her. Caleb blessed her in his prayer to be good for Jesus and Heavenly Father. We will miss her a great deal. I have been surprised at my own attachment and sadness. I am sure pregnancy has aided the emotion, but really it boils down to, I loved our dog and I miss her already.

Athena: Born January 1, 2005/ Came to our house March 6, 2005/ Died February 10, 2010